police chase

[Keith Bennett]

It was just before Christmas and late one night a local phoned his remote pub to warn them of a police car parked quietly in a field's gateway near them. At last-orders time, a motorist was seen almost falling down the steps in front of the pub. He staggered around the car park trying to find his car and, once successful, he dropped the keys several times before getting in and then stalled the engine twice before jerkily making his way our of the car park and into the narrow country lane.

Immediately the police gave chase but, the lane being narrow, couldn't overtake until the main road was reached. Then on came the twos-and-blues and the errant motorist promptly pulled over. The police driver marched up to his window.

"Good evening sir. I have reason to believe you're driving while under the influence. Kindly breath into this device."

Which the chap did and, to the policeman's surprise, registered zero on the breathalizer. Fearing that particular one was faulty, he took a second one from his pocket and the process repeated, with exactly the same result.

Baffled, the officer asked the motorist for his name.
"Fred Bloggs."
"And what do you do for a living, sir?"
"Oh I'm a professional decoy," came the answer . . .

[Dave the rave]