A gong pour moi sill-vous-plate

[Dave the rave]

[exlkrs]

Ici est votre gong. Wear avec pride my sewer.

[Dave the rave]

Ta muchly Monsewer of the Lookout joblingtons

[exlkrs]

Le plaisir est toutment mine, mon not so petit ami.

[Dave the rave]

[Keith Bennett]

For many years Private Eye ran an hilarious feature by Miles Kington entitled "Let's parler Franglais" in which the language of our near neighbour was unmercifully mangled.

Such was the popularity of the feature, that following MK's untimely death, it was continued under a new hand with the updated moniker of "Kilometres Kingston".

You, gentlemen, are following in illustrious footsteps! Continuez, s'il vous plait!!

[exlkrs]

Bonjewer Monsewer Dayveed. D'Aujourd hui est Samedi. Et tu regardezing le match pied ball later? Le Coventry jouet Le Field de Udders a troisieme o clock. Il est at Le Rue de Bloomfield, or cette equivilent modern jour.

[Dave the rave]

Errr, ooooh, not Scouse are ya

[exlkrs]

Absolutement non! Je suis Manc et proud of it!!

[Dave the rave]

I know